I got this e-mail from the astronomy graduate student listserv…most amusing:

-Matthew

During this time of the holidays, I thought I would share with the grads a warm and heartening letter from one of our finest former grad student and a personal mentor – Eric. This letter was written by Eric near the holidays in response to a young student’s astronomy questions. She obviously had a homework assignment and was being very lazy.

It just tingles the heart strings. Enjoy!

Hi, my name is Laura and I have a few questions about the planets. Would you be able to answer them for me? If so, the following questions need answering.

1]How were the planets formed?

2]How were the stars formed? and

3]what is the mass and density of the nine planets in our solar system?

If you could answer them you’d be doing me a HUGE favour.

Thank you for your time,

Laura.

This sounds like a homework assignment, due ASAP. I recommend that read some text first, but I’ll give you some short answers — but I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you read your textbook on the material:

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There’s nothing in the world like a good peanut joke. Unless you’re this girl. But you’re not. So, right. Peanut joke.

Two peanuts were walking down the street.

One was assaulted.

The following is a reproduction of a real email thread that occurred earlier today within a corporate office environment. Names have been removed to protect any possible confidentiality considerations.

Although this is a true story, it is filed under “Jokes” for what will become obvious reasons.
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Whenever I hear a really terrible pun, I am forced to share it with the rest of the world. It’s an unnatural compulsion, somewhat akin, I think, to the funniest joke in the world. In fact, I will spend a sum total of several hours out of my day telling this joke to various poor slobs.

It is in the spirit of wasting just a little bit more of both my time and yours that I give you today’s joke:

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was intense.