A Truly Heroic Game

We at the Procrastinator's Club spend a great deal of our "free" time playing War2 since we first discovered it last year. Now Matt is trying to cobble together a 486 for the dedicated purpose of playing the game (right now he has to mooch off our computers) and the rest of us have either bought the CD over the summer or the Expansion Set. This has accomplished two things. We all got a lot of practice, and we now have enough CD's for several 8-player network games. If we only had enough computers…

There have been many in-depth studies of War2 strategies, etc. Check out these great sites to get the real story from some War2 professionals:

During our countless hours of simulated warfare, we have discovered a few important axioms:

• Bloodlust. 'Nuff said.
• Before planning your invasion, check to make sure that the gold mine you want to capture still exists. (i.e. fog of war)
• Watch your demo squads. They will rarely make it through an obstacle course of archers.
• A sufficiently large assault force can substitute for good strategy.
• A defense against a legion of demo squads is… another legion of demo squads. Note: 1) This looks impressive as hell, but uses up a LOT of demo squads. 2) We didn't say this was a good defense, just a defense.
• Don't let Tom design your maps. They will either be all water (he's in the navy) or consist of two lines of forces set up exactly to mutilate each other on sight (he has a wicked violent streak).
• If there's a wall around the tower, tell the Demo Squad to go for the wall, NOT the tower.
• As a last resort, attack with your peasants. No, it's not very effective, but it's funny as hell to watch.

Some of our most memorable moments:

• Doug's huge cannon tower forest. It was a great defense against my legion of Paladins. However, I also had Mages…
• Doug sneaks a cannon tower into the middle of Chris's town when the troops are away. Oh the humanity!!
• Doug walling in a cannon tower, and people aiming demo squads at the wall. They ran up and looked at the wall, unable to explode (see above). The cannon tower had a merry time picking them off. Note: this tower was eventually destroyed by a crack team of five righteously indignant ballistas.
• As you may notice, Doug likes cannon towers.
• Greg, fearing massive demolitions, recreates the Great Wall of China (half a screen thick). Doug just went around it.
• Doug, completely encompassing his barracks with two full ranks of Paladins, only to have them slaughtered by Greg's forces. Doug still won, but Greg's kills were a little higher.
• Chris mounting a carefully orchestrated assault to capture a gold mine that no longer existed (see above).
• The shortest game in history occurs when Matt accidentally builds a farm instead of a town hall (you can't take out a loan in Warcraft).
• Doug creating two aviaries and a squadron of griffins just to hunt down the last cowering enemy peon and end the game.
• Herding sheep into the enemy towns to confuse them (the enemies, not the sheep).
• Enemy forces allying so they can kill enough sheep to get to the gold mine (it was a mutton-like custom level).
• Assorted sheep humor.
• "What happened to my griffins!? Hey, where did all these sheep come from?"