2002-10-13 09:07
FM Radio is in for a tune up.  Broadcasters, the FCC, and iBiquity (makers of the new technology) say that FM broacasts will soon be transmitted digitally.  The new signals are backwards-compatible with the good ol' analog ones, so no, you don't have to throw away all your receivers.

But we all know where this is going.  The RIAA is sure to pounce on this new tech, because they hate any non-lossy transmission of music (which enables copies to be made without giving the record companies more money).  The RIAA is already pushing their own competing digital technology, which is designed to "deliver high quality music without enabling anyone to actually hear it."  The pilot recording for this system was the track "I Can Hear You" on the They Might Be Giants album "Factory Showroom".

2002-04-11 06:23
This morning, noted procrastinator and long time member of the Procrastinators Club Melissa Brosnan will appear on the Doug Stephan Good Day USA radio program.  This broadcast is carried nationwide on over 250 stations, so tune in! 

We all knew that it was only a matter of time before the procrastinators would take over the world.  National radio fame is just the beginning.  Soon, there will be Procrastinators Club made-for-TV movies, Procrastinators Club action figures with Kung-Fu grip, a Procrastinators Club Star Trek(tm) series. 

And once we are in control, we'll do all kinds of Important Things for humanity, such as solve world hunger, take better care of the environment, and WRITE OUR NAMES ON THE SURFACE OF THE MOON. HAHAHAHHAHA. (ahem, where was I).  The possibilities are endless!  Of course, all that stuff will sure take a lot of work.  But we'll get around to it.

2002-03-04 22:21
Quit laughing!  I'm serious, it does!!  One town in Germany has figured out what we procrastinators have known all along.  Taking a quick nap is a refreshing break that makes us attack our work with a new vigor and fresh perspective.  Of course, it also allows us to put off getting started on it for that much longer. =P

2001-11-12 10:10
Microsoft sales forces have a new Prime Directive, and that directive is: Seek and Destroy ANY non-MS platform machines that exist.  "What?", you say.. "I don't see the news here.  Hasn't this always been their policy?"  Well, lots of companies are now jettisoning their Ford-Festiva-sized mainframes in favor of Intel solutions.  These same companies then take their UNIX software and infrastructure and simply port it to Linux.  Of course, this sensible and cost-effictive solution flies right in the face of everything MS is trying to accomplish!

2000-10-31 07:30

SEATTLE, WA--In the wake of an intrusion that let some unknown party cavort around their internal network, Microsoft says the activity was completely tracked.  Additionally, they are sure no one could have copied any of their source code files, because of, get this, their immense size.

2002-03-04 22:33
According to a recent study, the average human has begun to use the Internet for things like work, research, serious communication and shopping.  Activities such as procrastinating online are actually found to have decreased in the last year.

We here at pc.o approve of the increased utility of online-ness, but are alarmed to hear that net denizens are wasting less time overall.  Not only is this an unhealthy mental attitude, but it could lead to a decrease of fun procrastination-related Net resources.  With fewer hits, sites we know and love may be forced to become Useful or perish.  Let everyone do their part to keep procrastination alive!

As recommended at shacknews, we suggest spending some quality time at zombo and yourethemannowdog.  You'll be glad you did.

2002-02-12 09:50
On February 9th of this year, the internet domain of our esteemed Procrastinators Club nearly vanished from existence.  Due to forces beyond our control (read: Greg is dumb) there was actually about a 24 hour window during which the domains procrastinators.org, 10forward.com, and sandgecko.net were expired and technically up for grabs.  Fortunately we were saved by the heroic efforts of the kindly Internet Domain Elves.  One can only assume that they wished to prevent our domain from being snapped up by some crappy Internet Porn outfit.

After a brief period of confusion and general panic in the streets, things are settling back down into a normal state.  The management of pc.o apologizes for any inconvenience.  For all you animal rights people out there, we would like to assure you that Neko was cared for appropriately during the outage.

2001-11-25 09:20
After years of waiting and hoping, our grandest dream has come true!  A company in Isreal has figured out how to make a battery out of printable ink.  So I think we can all expect our junk mail to start lighting up and making annoying music soon..  I'm not sure whether to run and hide, or try to buy stock in their company.

2000-11-02 16:00
"No, you heard right.  I'm looking for 8,000 red lego blocks.  What? I'm making a painting, of course.."  Now we've all had conversations like that before, but no wait, NO WE HAVEN'T!  Well here's someone who can certainly qualify for Lego Maniac of the Year, so check it out.

2000-11-01 09:00

I don't know how I missed this one back in August.  The Navy is now looking to Microsoft to deploy the software which will control our nation's aircraft carriers.  No, seriously.

2002-04-11 21:10
As procrastinators, scientists, and nerds in general, one of our recurring themes of time-wasting has been pondering really crazy buildings. We particularly liked the idea of buildings or other structures that floated up in earth orbit. 

We figured, why not build something that's in a stationary orbit over the planet, but then build a HUGE ladder or elevator that connected it to the ground! 

It's not like we were the first to think of this.  But now, it looks like someone may actually DO it!

2001-11-25 09:40
By now we're comfortable with the idea that we have to be careful to protect our computers against Evil (worms, trojans, etc).  We employ common sense, firewalls, detection software, and antivirus programs to help us stay clean.  Well what if the government WANTED to infect your computer?  For some time we've been vaguely aware of the FBI's efforts to develop "computer wire-tap" software, but the effects didn't sink in for me until I read this article.  They can install the program by using the same security exploits as CodeRed or NIMDA.  And what's more, antivirus companies are going to look the other way and not say a peep about the unauthorized software installing itself on your machine!  It seems to me that the next step would be for Microsoft to strike a deal with the government to support real wire-tapping efforts.  The only question I would pose is, how are we sure it's not already there?

2000-11-06 07:20
When I was a kid I was fascinated by helicopters, and would crane my neck and squint my eyes just to get a look at one flying overhead.  I don't feel so silly now: British Naval officers report that groups of penguins will watch aircraft flyovers so intently that they will actually lose balance and fall on their asses.  Scientists are concerned that aircraft-related penguin stress could affect breeding performance.  No, I'm NOT making this up.

2000-11-02 10:50

URBANA, IL--While attempting to do some productive work, I got sidetracked by a fellow procrastinator who was trying to figure out why clarinets go flat in the winter, necessitating a shorter neck. Using the all-powerful laws of physics, We figured out a solution.

2000-10-31 10:18

URBANA, IL-- Employees of the Civil Engineering computer center were surprised this morning when one of their co-workers, Melissa Brosnan, did not show up for work.  Brosnan, a Systems Analyst, seems to have been mysteriously replaced by a large Red Cat.  The cat has reportedly spent the morning singing and dancing in response to phone calls and help requests.  One client said that the cat gave him a "balloon computer" to replace his own machine, which reportedly had a failed hard drive.  Amateur photos have confirmed the existence of Red Cat (1, 2)  Speculations about its origin abound.  One possibility is that there is some correlation between its appearance and the Halloweeen holiday.