Women who seek to augment their chest-mounted secondary sex characteristics may soon have some new options.

Currently, saline breast implants are the only game in town in America. A silicone shell encases a salt-water solution. Leaks are non-toxic to the implantee, because hey, salt water. Of course the liquid silicone implants aren’t nearly as benign, which is why they’re not on the market any more.

The new units currently being tested (wonder what that procedure entails…) have an internal consistency more like gummy bears. This conjurs up a large amount of interesting imagery.. At any rate, the new stuff apparently feels more realistic. Add to this the small benefit that they can’t leak out and POISON YOU, and they just might be onto something.

My opinion (as a guy, but maybe not a typical one?) is generally that women are most beautiful as themselves; no enhancement required. But I’m not going to stand here and frown on it. If someone would feel happier/sexier/whatever by looking slightly different, and it’s within their means to change, then more power to them.

Of course this research is by no means the first study of gummy bears and sexuality. Germany has been all over this for years.