Productivity is Overrated. Site devoted to procrastination, procrastinating, and wasting time in fun ways. Procrastinate with impunity. Neko



Filed under: — Greg @ 7:08 pm

n. frozen fruit that comes in bags in the grocery store, and may not be identifiable any longer as a fruit


The Law of Inverse Airport Quality

Filed under: — ardvaark @ 5:40 pm

The Law of Inverse Airport Quality states that the niceness of any airport is inversely proportional to the niceness of the city (or cities) that it services.


  • The Detroit Metropolitan Airport is absolutely gorgeous. Detroit is an utter wreck.
  • The Albuquerque International Sunport is a pretty nice airport, and even has free wireless Internet. Unfortunately, it is located in Albuquerque, the name of which translates roughly to “Middle of Absolutely Nowhere” in an ancient Native American tongue. The stupidity of the name “Sunport” is merely incidental, and is not affected by the Law.
  • Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport and Midway International Airport are both crowded, busy, and dumpy. The city itself is tons of fun and full of culture and excitement. The only nice airport in Chicago, Meigs Field, was demolished in 2003 – thus proving that deviations from the Law are only temporary.


Filed under: — Greg @ 5:07 pm


  1. The condition of being unable to rise from a sitting position because a cat is purring or sleeping in your lap.


  1. To protect your computer session when you go away so that your cat cannot affect it by walking on / sleeping on / eating parts of the keyboard.


the cat dimension

Filed under: — pace @ 8:32 pm


  1. where missing cat toys have vanished to. related to the laws of feline dynamics. this is theorizied to be a dimension parallel to where ever socks vanish into



Filed under: — mere @ 1:56 am


  1. The ultimate recipe for happiness and/or productivity. Chocolate + tea + techno.



Filed under: — Greg @ 10:24 pm


  1. Cola flavored with vanilla.



Filed under: — Greg @ 12:58 am


  1. Hot cocoa with a splash of Baileys


brain pellets

Filed under: — pace @ 5:23 pm


  1. M&M’s used to drive brain power



Filed under: — mere @ 10:47 pm


  1. Cat resting position in which legs are hidden underneath the cat, giving the appearance of a bread loaf.

– mere


Filed under: — Greg @ 1:36 am


  1. The inability to sleep due to your cat’s amusing but poorly timed antics.



Filed under: — Greg @ 12:54 pm


  1. Pizza that is loathsome or disgusting due to an unnatural combination of toppings, such as “Chicken Bacon Ranch”.
  2. A style of pizza that is an affront to the pizza gods of whatever city you are from (i.e. St. Louis style pizza when in Chicago, or California style pizza … everywhere)


transitive dicking

Filed under: — hoosier @ 2:07 pm


  1. Dicking that trickles down to you from one or more layers above you in the organizational chart or chain of command. Commonly occurs in large, bureaucratic organizations. For instance, your bosses’ boss directs him or her to do something asinine, which results in you doing something even more senseless.

Unsolicited cookies

Filed under: — mere @ 10:53 pm


  1. Unsuspected delicious baked goods (preferably containing chocolate). Unsolicited cookies may be given with either good or malicious intent (the key is that the recipient does not expect them). Beware of lawsuits.
  2. Web browser state objects saved to your drive from third party sites (such as advertising agencies). These unsolicited cookies are definitely not delicious.

-mere, greg


Filed under: — Greg @ 3:17 pm


  1. (onomatopoeia) Representing brief laughter.
  2. A polite but content-free response to any statement in IRC/IM/e-mail intended to be humorous, clever, or amusing. Saying “heh” does not carry any connotation of whether the responder considers said statement to actually be humorous, clever, or amusing.

Rules for hitting on the waitress

Filed under: — Greg @ 11:11 pm
  1. Do not hit on the waitress.
  2. If you find yourself thinking “I think that waitress really likes me”, see rule #1. This rule also applies to strippers, but what are you doing at a strip club anyway.
  3. If you are at Hooters, see rule #1. Also, try the buffalo chicken.
  4. Actually, it’s still a free country, so hit on whoever you want. Just remember that with a customer/server dynamic, it’s not all that easy to tell the difference between someone who is good at her job, from someone who wants to be hit on.

–Erick, Greg

Laws of FelineDynamics

Filed under: — Greg @ 10:33 pm
  1. Conservation of energy. Cats sleep almost all the time, which conserves their energy for important tasks (such as getting in the way of your work).
  2. Catropy of a closed system will increase. The entropy in your life due to cats (catropy) tends to increase over time. This is because you gradually give up and realize that the cat is the one who is in charge.
  3. It is impossible to cause a cat to lose balance by any finite process. Cats are commonly believed to flip themselves around in mid-air to land on their feet, however this is a physical impossibility. In actuality, the cat simply adjusts the universe so that the direction it is facing becomes “down”.



Filed under: — Greg @ 10:13 pm


  1. A measure of the disorder present in your life due to cats.
  2. The tendency of cats to cause chaos.

See also: Laws of FelineDynamics


IOC (International Obfuscation Committee)

Filed under: — Greg @ 7:12 pm


  1. The IOC is the worldwide organization that determines the simplest, most straightforward way to market products and present information, and then enforces the exact opposite. Past IOC mandates have included the following:
    • Number of hotdogs in a package shall not equal number of hotdog buns in a package.
    • Pillows of different sizes must be presented without a size distinction where possible; under no circumstances shall a size indication be attached or imprinted onto the pillow itself.
    • New television shows with high ratings shall have their timeslots changed a minimum of twice per month during the first 3 months of the season.
    • Daylight Savings Time.
    • Gasoline gallon prices shall not have an integral number of cents.
    • Computer error dialogs are required to give as little information as possible. Error messages should cause the user to believe they are at fault, and possibly facing legal action (e.g. “Illegal operation in excel.exe”).



Filed under: — Greg @ 9:08 am


  1. The feeling your stomach gets 30-90 minutes (100 ml) after eating at a Steak-n-Shake.


thermal mass

Filed under: — Doug @ 1:47 am


  1. A measurement of how hard it is to change the temperature of an object or a substance. In scientific circles, this would be known as “specific heat,” which totally doesn’t sound like what it means. A bowl of nacho cheese could be said to have a massive thermal mass.


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