After watching the culmination of both national party conventions, it occurs to me that there’s a simple and elegant solution for both unemployment and a sluggish economy in America.

All we need to do is give all the out-of-work people jobs manufacturing balloons and confetti for the next conventions. Because without a doubt, we don’t have nearly enough of those items yet.

Naturally this won’t fix the problems for everyone. But don’t forget we’d also need people to sweep up, toss out, and haul away all that crap.