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The Cheese Triscuits Saga

Filed under: — Greg @ 9:56 pm

Have you ever found yourself eating food that you didn’t like, simply because it was easier than exerting the effort to obtain better chow?

Note the following excerpts from IRC detailing one woman’s plight to satisfy morning snack cravings:


*** melp decides after eating a bunch of cheddar triscuits that she doesn't really like them


<melp> ugh, i just am not into these cheddar triscuits, but i keep eating them


*** melp busts out the box of cheese triscuits that she hates, again

The only conclusion I can draw is that cheddar triscuits employ some powerful form of hypnosis over their victims. I will continue to make observations in the coming days, since it’s clear that poor melp is now far beyond the help of our current medical technology.

23 responses to “The Cheese Triscuits Saga”

  1. Melissa (aka melp et al) says:

    I don’t know about hypnosis, but when you are on the go, too busy to get to the grocery store, working with a baby, you just eat whatever the hell is in your path!

  2. Cranny Jones says:

    I love Cheese triscuits, I think you people are all confused. They have fiber and yet the cheese adds a nice splurt of flavor.

  3. Aaron Wohl says:

    Hey all I personally think that “Cranny” is right… What the heck is up with the name Cranny?! He’s a gypsie or somthing anyways, just kidding! Anyways I am thinking of picking up another box of cheese triscuits
    Peace Aaron

  4. Austin Langsdorf says:

    Man, heck yes is Cranny right. I think that cheese triscuits are gourmet and deserve a round of applause.
    No hypnosis, PLEASE!
    And btw, stupid anti cheese triscuitans.

  5. Cranny Jones says:

    Thanks for supporting me. I appreciate all this help in my conquest for triscuits. I predict world domination by Thursday…
    ““““““““““““““““““““““““`CRANNY JONES“““““““““““““““““““““““`

  6. Christina Carlton says:

    Sup G’s? Cheeze triscuits r perty awsome. im with Austin and Cranny on this one. c( :
    Peace Out
    – Double C

  7. Jim Jimminy Jim-o says:

    I hate triscuits especially cheese you people are sick in the head!!! I think that they must be hypnotic as Greg said I mean who would willingly eat that crap… Anyways think about this “WHEAT THINS FOR PRESIDENT!!”.

  8. Orville Wallace says:

    Ummmm…. All of this over triscuits? O.o
    They are good thought power to Cranny, Austin, Aaron, and super power to Christina!!!
    I may not be any expert but I think they are sorta healthy, even if not they are grreat!!!!!
    Free the world from triscuit oppresion! FIght the power, keep are fiberific friends nestled in ur mercadis bens <--- I cannot spell for anything.. Stay in school, join me in the fight against the ninja turtles, up with hobos!!! C.O.T.I.S (Chuckles on the inside) my friend made that up don't ask... Peace and Love Children!!!

  9. The Flaming Triscuit says:

    cheese triscuits are nice because they are not salty like garlic triscuits and not bland like low sodium tricuit. Power to the triscuit nation. peace

  10. Flash says:

    so, is the flaming triscuit saying that “because these suck less than those, that makes them good”? i have never had a flavored triscuit that was edible, let alone tolerable. i wouldn’t really call low-sodium a flavor, but they make me think of eating cardboard. i’ll stick with the regular triscuits, but i guess someone out there eats the crap. *shrug*

  11. melp says:

    what’s the goal of cheese triscuits? to market a “healthier” cracker that has orange-cheez-powder on it? if you want cheese-flavored something, you might as well go all the way and have cheetos, cheez-its, cheez-puffs, cheez-balls, ez-cheez or something else with your crackers. at least that’s yummy.

  12. Flash says:

    personally, if i’m going to put cheese on a triscuit, it’s not going to be some powdered crap, or even something from a can, it’s going to be a nice slice of colby jack.

  13. melp says:

    good old-fashioned mac-n-cheese powdered cheese is tasty. but not on a triscuit.

  14. Greg says:

    Yeah I want cheesy poofs!

  15. melp says:

    wheat thins are better than triscuits. eating a triscuit is like swallowing a brillo pad.

  16. ZyRae says:

    Jeez, these cheddar triscuits are crap. I *love* regular triscuits in all their salty goodness… but these cheddar things.. blech! To each, their own.

  17. Aleena says:

    cheeze triscuits surely contain the power to give people ESP. I can almost always tell what words are coming next in my favorite song that i have memorized when it is on the radio! i could never do this before eating them! its a flippin miracle!!

  18. Ashley says:

    I do believe they make you telepathic, but they also give you food poisoning. They have ground up “meat” in them, but I can tell what Aleena is thinking now! They are the official food of the Flippin’ Awesome Rooftop Band.

  19. Natasha says:

    Also, people in Iceland consider this a delicasy.

  20. Snaedis says:

    Yes we do! I am from Iceland and a traditional snack of ours is Cheese Triscuits and whale blubber. It is very good!

  21. Austin Langsdorf says:

    Cheese triscuits are the essence of true life. They represent my religion, and I had to go to cheese triscuiters annonymous a few years ago. I still have a heavy cheese triscuiting quitting problem.

  22. Jonathon McGee says:

    If a cheese trisquit=a brillo pad with fake cheese powder on it, and a brillo pad with fake cheese powder on it=digusting, then using the law of syllogism, a cheese trisquit=disgusting.

  23. Dod Odell says:

    As a canadian living in Germany it is a pleasure just to even hear about Triscuits – cheese, low whatever, classic … – because there is no source here that sells them and no InetShop on the www that sells and exports them. I’m dying for a Triscuit or a Stoned Wheat Thin! BTW melp, try chewing before swallowing.

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